The Killer Kujo Wasp
I have a new book proposal for Steven King, based on my own real life experiences. I'd advise all Southerners to keep their doors closed and preferably deadbolted against this savage beast. A wasp with the wingspan of a small bird, or maybe even a small plane, ended up in my house this morning. Its buzz sounded eerily like a lawnmower, loud and deadly.
I heard screams coming from the living room and as I ran in, I saw my mother, armed only with InStyle Magazine chasing the giant around the room. She sprang towards it, her wild animal instincts kicking into gear, but missed, instead knocking down the blinds. The wasp veered around, ready to strike and kill her when, in a last desperate attempt, she attacked it and managed to hit it. The wasp fell to the ground and mom pounced on it, hitting it about 15 times with the magazine.
At this point we figured it was dead. I know that flies die after one hit, why wouldn't a giant killer wasp? So my brother and I decided to document this momentous event and grabbed the tape measure and took a picture. The bee was roughly three terrifying inches long. As we took the picture, we saw the insect twitch a few times but, logically, I thought they were just its last spasms.
Mom walked in a few minutes later to pick up the dead carcass.. and once more, screams echoed throughout the house (undoubtedly heard throughout the neighborhood). I ran back into the room.. and there was the wasp, back on its feet, plotting its revenge. Like Kujo, it just wouldn't die! It walked around, as we stood there and panicked and then we attacked it with a large coffee table book. We stomped on it for a good ten minutes, to insure it was dead. When we removed the book, he was still twitching, so we attacked again.
Finally, after 15 minutes of brutal force, we figured the demonic wasp must be dead, so we got a wad of tissue and picked it up. It was still twitching, so we flushed it down the toilet. I just hope wasps can't swim.
It is probably still alive, forging its way through the sewer system, ready to attack its next victim.
So, in closing, Mr. King, please take my suggestion for your next novel. I really do feel it would be a best seller.